I'm allergic to Calories.

I'm allergic to calories. They make me sweat and fart and froth and burp. Carbohydrates are killing me slowly, when I look at photos from 30 years ago, I can see how much they've aged me. Vitamins have played their role too, with some hair loss, and not to mention the minerals that have destroyed my teeth. And then there's those dreaded glycogens, proteins and fats which who knows what havoc they've inflicted upon my body over the years.

Oh how I wish I had grown up in a world full of fruit and with guardians with sense enough to understand it's life giving properties. I could have avoided all those ghastly amino acids and sugars that have (rav)aged my body.

My simple understanding of a calorie, is that it is a unit equal to the amount of heat required to raise the temperature of one kilogram of water by one degree at one atmosphere pressure, and as such I fail to see what business they have playing vital parts of our diets. It's rather like eating empty hot air don't you think?

In my opinion, all that pseudo science, of microscopically dissecting the molecules of our food before eating them distances us from the pure simplicity of eating the fresh juicy ambrosial heavenly scrumptiousness of fruit. It degrades the sweet and saporous nectarine to a mound of health threatening sugars and other pathogens. The durian gets transformed from a delectable lump of tantalizingly custard creamy peerless irreproachable bliss into a bunch of dead and decaying vitamins, nefarious fats (god forbid!), and gremlinous amino acids.

The truth of fruitarianism, lies in simplicity, but we live in a world that revolves around fear and scaremongering that simplicity renders simple, and that the true pillars of reality are too complex for the likes of the simple masses..

Thus we have the meat and dairy industry that cleverly marketed us the protein myth, the raw fooders that sell us their goji berries and all it's miraculously magical built in ingredients, and now the new set of fruitarians that want us to think that still wish to insist that we need to understand food content before we can do it properly.. Suddenly, we can't do it ourselves, but need expert opinion and guidance to get there.


I've written this before, but I think it's worth repeating. Take a simple apple and cut it in half. After barely 10 minutes what do you observe? The 2 halves exposed to the air are likely already beginning to discolour.. Slowly becoming increasingly more brown. Put very simply (because, let's face it, I aint no scientist), what's happening is the life force of the food is slowly dissipating. The longer you leave it, the less value it will have as a food.

Now, try grating a different apple, if your observant, you'll notice that the smaller the pieces, the quicker they'll discolour (oxidize). IE, the quicker the true value of the food is lost.. (If you start doing stuff like subjecting the morsels to heat or similar, then the process is yet more rapid and devastating!).

In order to observe those pesky elusive little vitamins and their ilk, food has to be dissected so small that by the time it's sandwiched between the glass under the microscope, you can be sure that any vital, once present, life force is long gone..

Same goes for the amino acids, glycogens, carbos and who really understands what a calorie is? I mean, yeah sure, you might text book quote me any of it, but really you're just blahing stuff that you have no idea about.. How many of us would even recognise a plate full of pure b12 if we saw it, and yet so many tend to talk about it, feigning a familiarity that is entirely within their imaginations.

I don't care for any of it. I also don't believe that anyone can rightly say what anyone else should specifically eat at any given meal.. If you think that you need someone to guide or tell you, then you surely haven't understood the simplicity of fruitarianism. I don't care if someone tells me I ate 40 calories yesterday, or 4000, to me it means nothing, so I'm not into calorie restriction, or the opposite of forcing myself or guilting anyone else into believing they need to get a certain amount each day. I don't give a damn how many (douglas) grams of food I ate in my last meal, and i'm not into ritually forcing drink down my gullet to stay hydrated in the future.

The simple truth of true fruitarianism, 100% fruit, is eat what you want, when you want, drink and eat when hungry, don't eat or drink for tomorrow. we're not camels living in a desert. To avoid issues of not getting enough, avoid situations where there isn't an abundance around you. It's no good planning to do a bike ride or long walk, and eating and drinking everything you think you need before you start out.

If you stick to just fruit, ie fresh raw fruit.. (no leaves, seeds, roots, flesh, etc and none of this dried fruit and nuts that many raw fooders subscribe to), then you will also observe that the desire for water will diminish and provided you are not manically exercising for the sake of it, then probably disappear altogether.

If you stick with fruit, only you can know what and how much appeals at any given point in time, don't ignorantly expect someone else to tell you what to eat. It is folly to believe that anyone knows better than you do.

HaHa!

Don't be mistaken in thinking that avocados are fat. avocados are a fruit. the 801010 people have made a grave mistake in lumping avocados in with the nuts in their pseudo science. All commercially available nuts are cooked. There are no exceptions, even if someone tries to convince you they are not.. the truth is they've all been heat treated, thus their overall effect on the human physiology is bound to be, comparable to cooked food, ultimately detrimental. Avocados are not nuts, and not cooked, or heat treated so their effect is very different and not comparable to that of nuts. Don't be afraid of them, be afraid of the pseudo-scientists that would rather blind you with their half-arsed science and bring you to a sense of fear that they alone have the complex knowledge you need to stay healthy. The truth is free, it's lies that must be paid for.

The next time someone comes up to you and tries to get you to eat protein or calories, be strong, say "no thank you", and turn and walk the other way.. resist the temptation, eat fruit and prosper.

PS don't take this article too seriously. I'm aware that it's unlikely that fruitarianism would stop the aging process completely, I'm just writing tongue in cheek, is all..